If you have a wife tribe or a couple of close girlfriends, then hopefully they will share this with you (If they know). It is one of many hidden secrets to having a successful marriage.




Even when you don’t feel like it. Make yourself the first priority. How can you pour into your marriage or your family if your cup is empty? When your cup is empty that means you are lacking something. You need to refill it. No one else can do that. Nor is it anyone else’s responsibility for doing it. We know that it is easy to get caught up in the day to day, but you must make time for self-care. “Why?” you ask. Simple. Self-care is self-preservation. It allows you to only sweat the small stuff.


Happiness is so important to have. Only you can make yourself happy. This is because happiness is something you have to choose for yourself. You can have all the material things in the world, but if you aren’t happy with yourself they don’t mean a thing. You won’t be able to enjoy life or the things it has to offer.


Many times wives put unfair expectations on their husband. He’s supposed to do this or that… Thinking that is where their happiness comes from. That is not the foundation of happiness. Happiness is within. A sense of pride and gratitude for things that are seen and unseen. Your husband is human. He will fail at something, somewhere. No one person is perfect.


We all know that there are ups and downs that come along with being married. However, when you are taking care of yourself it allows the down times to be less stressful.  Less stress means you can make better choices. You can see and think clearer despite being in a slump. You can navigate the downtime much better when you recognize the things that make you happy and take care of yourself.


Making yourself a priority shows other people how to treat you also. That includes your husband and children. When you take time to meditate or have quiet time consistently they will respect that.  When your friends see how you are glowing, even in the midst of a storm, it will be because you chose to make your mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical being a necessity. Making the choice to be cared for a priority and not an option. Those who aren’t able to weather the storm with such grace are lacking the basic tools needed in the foundation.

Don’t allow yourself to run around busted. You deserve better than that. Life has way more to offer than just existing day to day. Set some goals and don’t give up on your personal dreams. You should be thriving in life. Self-care shows best when everything in your world is crumbling around you. It will make you feel like you are able to stand no matter what. This isn’t to say you can’t fall down, it is to say just don’t stay down.


Always remember before you are anything else (a wife, a mother, a daughter, friend, coworker), you are you. You are a woman. A person. A human being. You need to meet your own needs first. Then allow the others to fill in where you see fit.

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